This page gives you ideas about how to theme your gay wedding and links to examples of gay weddings to inspire you. Once you have celebrated your occasion, come back and share your tips, photos and stories with us.
One way to have a gay theme is by using colours from the rainbow flag used to represent gay pride. You could use the colours in your invitations, function room and table decoration and even your outfits. Ideas include an arc of balloons, napkins in different colours or swathes of cloth around the room in rainbow colours.
If you don't want to use all the colours, pink is a good choice for weddings and is a colour associated with our gay lifestyle. There is certainly plenty of pink wedding paraphernalia on the market, such as balloons, napkins, confetti and party poppers.
The catering could have a pink theme, for example, salmon, a pink cake, pink champagne, a taramosalata dip and dishes such as pasta in a pink sauce. Of course, you can have pink flowers to decorate the tables. To finish off, you could have pink fireworks and even be driven off in a pink Cadillac.
You can have a hint of a colour if you don't want to go too over the top. Laura and I used a rainbow in our invitations and then went for a pink theme for the day itself. Laura wore a cerise dress and mine had pink flowers against a dark green background. We used pink tea lights on the tables and had pink confetti scattered around. The flowers were predominantly pink and I found some fabulous pink flamingo fairy lights!
We also used pink ribbon to tie up the tissues that were handed out at the ceremony, printed the order of service on pink paper and had pink ribbon tied on the front of our vehicle.
To find suppliers of gay wedding decorations etc, visit our Fun, frills and balloons page
For florists who can help you create a theme, click here
If you want a pink Cadillac or even a classic car with the word GAY in the number plate, see our page on gay-friendly transport
Cakes to match your theme
You can co-ordinate your cake with your theme. This could be as outlandish as two women in bondage, which Jane Asher's Party Cakes and Sugarcraft company will do. She has been catering for the gay community for years. Other gay cakes her company has produced for gay couples include two female cats, dressed up as brides and one with models of the two men getting married.
For more caterers who could develop a gay theme for you, visit our cakes and catering page
Particular gay interests
If you belong to a part of the gay community that enjoys a certain niche, such as Country and Western, leather, bears etc you could theme your wedding around this interest.
Country and Western
You could have a Country and Western theme and hold your wedding in a barn with a wedding licence or decorate a village hall to look like a saloon bar.
Line dancing is popular among the gay community and a good way of getting everyone on the dance floor at a wedding. You could start with the Gay Gordon's dance. If you need a caller or someone to help you set the theme you can try barn-dance.co.uk who can provide bands and all sorts of accessories, from a bucking bronco to fast-draw machines.
You and your guests could dress in country and western outfits - jeans, studded boots, checked shirts, hooped skirts, headbands with flowers. For the dinner, why not sit on hay bales at long wooden tables. You could have a roast hog on a spit as the centrepiece of the meal.
Find decorations for the room such as old wagon wheels from antique or memorabilia shops. The tables could be adorned with wild fresh flowers. And to top it off, be driven away in a horse-drawn carriage.
For more ideas see wildwestthemedparties.co.uk
Bears have a certain symbolism within the gay community and represent strong, masculine men, usually with facial hair. There is plenty of bear merchandise available through gay stores and websites to help decorate the room or give away as favours.
Two men I interviewed for my book had a leather and feather theme for their wedding, which they used in the invitations. They asked people to incorporate the theme into their outfits. They had leather cushions made for their rings and the room was decorated with lots of feathers.
To see photos of their wedding, visit mikeandjamie.co.uk
You could link your wedding with an annual event such as your local Gay Pride - have the wedding on a Friday and spend the weekend celebrating with your friends at your pride festival.
You can often get a blessing at gay pride events - look out for the 'blessing' marquee. See our page on blessings if you want to book a member of the clergy to bless your civil partnership.
For more on gay pride events, visit gaytoz.com/united/prides.html
You could go back to the ancient Greeks for inspiration - a time in history when men could be more open about their sexuality. Why not have a toga wedding - with the invitations in the shape of Greece or on parchment paper in scrolls. Wear fine white robes with gold trim.
Your meal could be a feast of a roasting pig or chicken, olives, large Greek bread, with huge bowls of grapes adorning the table. Scatter petals around the tables. If the function room has columns decorate them with ivy and urns of flowers. If you choose to have your wedding in a spa hotel, you could even have the reception around a swimming pool, decorated as if it was part of an ancient Greek villa. There are quite a few spas on our site for you to choose from - click here and type in spa in the wide box.
You could have a drag artist as your wedding entertainment. Darrell East, also known as Miss Dot Com, mingles with guests at least an hour before going on stage. 'This builds up the atmosphere and makes for some great photos.' His show consists of live vocals, blue humour (unless otherwise advised), sing-along and patter with the audience. It usually lasts 40 minutes.
He wears one outfit for the reception and then changes into a stunning sequin costume for his stage performance. Miss Dot Com always ends the show by getting everyone to raise a toast to the newly weds. He can also double as the DJ and run the disco.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have a great time - it can be as much fun planning the wedding as the day itself.
For more tips on planning your gay wedding, you can order my book, A Very Pink Wedding, A Gay Guide to Planning your Perfect Day.
Tell us about your gay wedding
If you want to share your ideas of how you celebrated your gay wedding, send us your account, your tips, up to three photos or a link to your web gallery by clicking here and we'll display them on our site to inspire other gay men and lesbians who are planning their gay wedding. It will also act as a permanent memory of your special day.
Read accounts of lesbian and gay weddings here:
To read about more gay and lesbian weddings and to get more tips on planning your wedding, buy A Very Pink Wedding, A Gay Guide to Planning your Perfect Day.
If you need convincing, Read more about the book here and check out the reviews.
Co-founder of this site, Nicola Hill, also offers LGBT Diversity Training. If you want your lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender staff and customers to feel valued, then book one of our seminars today. Click here to find out more about Diversity Training.